This kind of protection, the protection of the Heart and Soul, of body, mind and spirit, of our thoughts and emotions, and our loves, passions and joys.
This is NOT the kind of protection that walls you off from authentic connection, from being the real you and finding your tribe. If you have to pretend to be someone else in order to feel love and belonging that's maladaptive protection. So what's it about?
Psychic protection is about resiliency, authenticity, and healthy boundaries.
Part of this is patience, allowing yoruself to grow at your own pace. If you keep "raising your frequency" without doing the soul work needed to increase your capacity you will eventually become undone like this bead of water: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKMf7PCkoZQ (video is only 1 minute long) A bowl of water wouldn't come undone so easily, nor a lake nor an ocean of water.
Practical ways to help with this actually come from some of the hand outs I received in group therapy. I have included the handouts below. Click on the image to get a full sized view. If you have a hard time downloading hte images directly from here you can view them here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1rSplcb5cNRviQZhD53xykeYhP-QHCQbN?usp=sharing
Radical Acceptance |
One thing that needs to be made clear here is that radical acceptance does NOT mean you continue to allow someone to abuse you, it means accepting that you cannot trust that person to be anything other than what they are toward you.
Radical acceptance does NOT mean you don't do anything to change the world and make it a better place. It means accepting what is so you can make actually make a difference in changing the world for the better.
My Reiki Master said that the way to heal the pain is through the pain.
My Sacred Grief teacher said that you don't need healing from your grief, you need your grief to heal.
For me this is more about self-care. I don't like the term self-soothing since it has been misused as a way to neglect the emotional needs of others, particularly infants and children. That said the contents of this handout is good, particularly for practical grounding methods when your imagination is running away with you, catastrophizing everything.
Self-soothing |
These methods employ the five basic senses, such as watching candle light, or listening to soothing music, drinking your favorite tea, smelling flowers, or running your hand along smooth wood. Humming a tune incorporates physical sensation as well as hearing.
On music, what is soothing to you will be different for osmeone else, and what's soothing now may not be soothing later. While writing this to help me focus (since I'm embarrassingly on a time crunch), I'm listening to Sonata Arctica, a power metal band. At other times I'm listening to Celtic music, or the Interstellar movie soundtrack, etc. It all depends on what I'm doing and what's needed in the moment.
Sometimes, things suck, right now, and you might be like Miles Morales in Into the Spider-verse "I am in the moment! It's a terrible moment!"
We have a habit of saying things that are self-defeating like "I can't take this, I can't stand this" etc. But yes, you can, because you have to, because if you don't the results will be worse. So you talk to yourself in a better way. I can do this. Or you be like Wonder Woman in the Justice League cartoon who would always "Hera! Give me strength!"
Other ideas you can use: "Goddess! Give me strength!"
"Lord! Help thou my unbelief!" This is one I have used several times. It comes from a story in the New Testament where Jesus healed a man's son but at first didn't believe but just the hope of belief was enough to heal. (I grew up with the King James Version so it has the funky language.)
This is about setting healthy boundaries, allowing yourself to grow, to change your mind, to not always be beholden to others. You are allowed to say no, you are allowed to change your mind, you are allowed to parent the way you see fit (unless you are abusive then you need some serious help to heal so you can be the kind of parent you really want to be).
Of course, none of this means you should be a jackass. Of course not, but you can say, "Now is not a good time" without justifying it. I have cancelled things purely because my mental health was bad and I just couldn't deal with people (which is saying a lot since I'm an extrovert).
All feelings are legitimate. Even if it turns out you were mistaken. You were acting the best you could with the knowledge that you had, and once you know better you can do better. That doesn't make any feelings more or less important.
You are legit just as you are. Give yourself the growth space you deserve!
Questions/comments on these practical aspects? Make a comment below. :)